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Aum Shinrikyo are proper terrorist fanatics, the real deal. Not even the most looney of the lefties in a fit of relativism could explain their tactics as a product of globalisation, imperialism, or in any way legit. Grievences: The invention of LSD by evil westerners which drove us a bit barmy?

Thankfully, the group have been inhibited by their extreme incompetence. They set out to manufacture 1000 automatic rifles for the coming apocalypse, but only made one. Their leader, Shoko Asahara, warned authorities of an impending attack which “would make the Kobe Earthquake seem as minor as a fly landing on one’s cheek”, but in total their notorious Riacin gas attack on the Tokyo subway killed only twelve.

Ashara could have been a poster boy for American Apparel, a cult in its own right. Bright primary coloured one-sies are the order of the day:

BLUE

RED

PURPLE

Truly a man of the nation that gave us uniqlo.